We the public, are easily, lethally offended. We have come to think of taking offence as a fundamental right. We value very little more highly than our rage, which gives us, in our opinion, the moral high ground. From this high ground we can shoot down on our enemies and inflict heavy fatalities. We take pride in our short fuses. Our anger elevates, transcends.
-- Salman Rushdie. East West.
A friend I used to know, I’ll call him Bloke, dropped by at my place. We were meeting after many, many years. We sat at the dining table and he told me what had happened to his life in the interim. He had sorted out family problems. Gotten his sister married. Built up the family business. Kicked out his wife's lover. Built a house for his mother. Wonderful! After listening to him, one would think it would be my turn to tell him about my life. But Bloke decided he knew everything about me already. What's more, he decided he knew how I should run my life as well. He had sorted out his issues after all, so why not sort out the rest of us? So he started advising me. “You’re like this!” he stated, “You’re like that!” and then, “You shouldn’t be like this!” he declared, “You should try to be like that!”
I should probably have gotten into a heated argument of self justification with him.
I should have raged indignantly about his pomposity for weeks afterwards. But there is something about hitting a landmark Birthday that has led to the realization that people will always be who they are. And I have come to realize how precious that thing called time is. And how blessed I am that I still have the energy to want to do the things I really want to do.
Since I had already made the unfortunate choice to waste some time on Bloke, I didn’t think I wanted to waste my energy on him as well.
So I just sat and watched for a while, this arrogant, empty- headed donkey braying loudly at me.
I wondered at myself for having hung out with him and his gang years ago.
After a while, I asked him to leave. Nicely.
Bloke phoned me the next day, and the next.
Unfortunately I couldn't answer his call.
I was so busy being who I am.
Here is another example of a donkey.
19 comments:
Such wisdom - and control - to sit still.
Figuring out where to expend energy and where to let things go is one of the great challenges in life, no? Much easier said than done, in my experience.
True, true...
When I saw that face in my sidebar I had to rush right on over. Not only are you an excellent illustrator but you also write like a dream. I could picture Bloke in my minds eye as if he were sitting in front of me.
Were his ears growing longer with every braying sentence? A tail popping out... that lovely scene in Pinocchio. And I wonder what the landmark birthday was... figuratively speaking, for the wisdom displayed here, I would guess at 100 or 120 ? But I'm sure you're far younger than that in heart and body...
Beautiful dark portrait here, really haunting...
hahaha loved this post,
way to go priya
I very much agree with the already stated comments. Well done for holding back and seeing him in his true colours. There does sometime come a time when a friend stops being a friend... and it is time to let it go for good. I admire the way you reflected and shared this unfortunate encounter.
AH-HAHA :D Priya, I loved this post. When we're younger we sometimes buy into the grandiose story-line that men build around themselves...not finding out till later that they are not AT ALL what they make themselves out to be, often just the opposite! Do men like this believe their own hype? I wonder.
Yes, reaching a certain age does help us see through the illusions...though what we see can be disappointing. "Believe in Yourself, and make the most of what you can be"...that is really my main motto these days.
(and I'm not implying that all men are like that...there are the rare decent few. But my view of the male species has grown grimmer and more skeptical over time.)
"So I just sat and watched for a while, this arrogant, empty-headed donkey braying loudly at me." Love that! That's the way to do it. Good for you!
Well said and illustrated. I have a few donkeys that I come across in living but no one I chose to send time with. It is nice to be reminded I have that choice. Thanks. I am lucky to be me.
I am so proud of you for not wasting your breath on such a loser.
No more time for 'Bloke'.
Love Renee xoxo
Whoa! I love the punch in the end "Unfortunately I couldn't answer his call.
I was so busy being who I am."
You are so delightfully wicked! I love you :)
Priya, in these instances, I have found it takes a strong will to be able to say to oneself "Let it Go"...
... then just breathe deeply...
Thank you all for your heartening comments. I am glad you enjoyed the story :-)
To Embellisher who asked "Will a landmark birthday change an ass?"
No, neither does it change a bitch. And I know who I'm talking about ;-)
Priya, it has been nice, taking a few moments to catch up on you, your drawing, your photos, and your words. It went well with the cup of hot peppermint tea by my hand. Thanks for sharing!
jill: loved what you said about men - your view of them getting 'grimmer and more skeptical over time' :D
unfortunately i just have to agree, though i also agree about the rare few (very rare) who differ from the usual.
Loved the illustration. And the way you dealt with the 'bloke' :P Keep it up lady!
Pity the wife didn't leave with the lover (assuming she is still aorund). Carpe diem etc.!
Enjoyed the post+illustrations!
"Bloke phoned me the next day, and the next.
Unfortunately I couldn't answer his call.
I was so busy being who I am. "
I chuckled. and for quite a while :D
good for you! enjoyed this a lot!
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